


your scars are beautiful

by butdaddyheluvshim



Category: Don't Let Me Go - Harry Styles (Song), Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), louis tomlinson fearless
Genre: Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, Multi, Prince Harry Styles, Smut, Top Louis Tomlinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29107074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butdaddyheluvshim/pseuds/butdaddyheluvshim
Summary: THERES GOING TO BE MORE CHAPTERS BUT RN IT SAYS THERES ONLY ONE BUT THERE WILL BE MORE :)Louis tomlinson is a 17 year old boy who studies art and drama , he loves to dance but has rough time at home he doesn’t have many friends apart from Niall Horan and Zayn Malik who also studied art and drama. Harry styles is a 16 year old boy new to the college , he is planning to study art and design, Harry is a very creative person and likes to express his feelings through art.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Maya Henry/Liam Payne
Kudos: 3





	your scars are beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> TW: SELF HARM-  
> TW- sh , talk about death.  
> Hi , i hope you are all good and staying safe. I have put a trigger warning due to some of the mentions of sh in the chapter , it can be skipped but please read at your own risk. It’s not strongly detailed but i just want use to know that there is mention of it.  
> also...  
> it is officially 31st of January, walls 1 years anniversary. A year ago today louis tomlinson brought out an album , not just any album , an album what has helped and inspired so many people. Louis i love you and thank you for your music and you your self to help others.  
> here’s to 1 years of walls :)

"Louis love you've got school today" Jay called from down stairs, Washing the dishes she waited for her beautiful son to come down stairs. 

Louis and his mum lived in a small house , in Doncaster to be exact park road number 28 , there home town. Doncaster was only a small place not many people lived there , especially not where he lived anyway. The area was rough , there was always police cars out driving past Louis house , or fights breaking out because of something silly , it wasn't a place to like but to Louis it felt like home. Louis also had 4 other sisters but they have moved out now and got on with their own life's. Phoebe moved all the way down to greece , Lottie and fizzy only round the corner from his and his mother's house and daisy went to manchester to study law. 

It was winter the weather was cold outside , the trees had lost all there leaves and snow was now resting on the branches. The birds chirped loudly in the morning making it so everyone could hear. The roads where icy , with the slush (dirty snow) pushed up to the sides of the curbs. It had only been winter for a week gone by now , and it was already pissing people off. 

"hi mum" Louis barley even spoke , he was so quite he was surprised that his mum was even able to hear him. Louis had a rough life , his mental health wasn't exactly the best , he struggled a lot since his best friends death. It's not been the same for Louis , everything around him has changed , he hasn't got a comfort person no more , yes he has other friends but he misses the bond he had with James.

James was only 16 when he found out he had cancer , it wasn't strong at that point , no symptoms was showing , you wouldn't of even been able to tell he had it. By the age of 17 he had lost all his hair , even facial hair and was told he only had a couple more months to live. Louis spent almost every second of the day with James in the hospital , playing chess of any other games the hospital was able to supply. After school he would go visit him , bring him his favourite milkshake from the shop around the corner that him and Louis always used to go too. It came to the 24th july when James sadly passed , Louis wasn't informed of this information till the day after. His heart broke , it felt like someone had punched him , then ripped a piece of his heart out and left him there to struggle. Ever since James death he had done anything to get away the pain of his loss. A year later down the line from the death , he's still struggling to process the loss of his best friend. 

"it's cold outside sweetie , make sure you wrap up" Jay placed a arm around her son rubbing his shoulder up and down. She knew about Louis struggling , she even got him into therapy for a while until Louis decided that it wasn't helping him so he stopped going. Jay knew about Louis self harming , and from what else she knew he stopped. 

"i know mum , i have" Louis looked up to show his turtle neck jumper he had put on. This had been one of James favourite jumpers on Louis , he'd put it on whenever he was having a bad day and today was a bad day. Louis hated going to school for the reason of it being different with not having james around but James would of wanted Louis to proceed in his education and get good marks , so he is able to get his dream job. Louis wanted to make james proud so he tried so hard , he fought away the thoughts that where in his head , the emotions that where holding him back, Louis feared for the day for when they become too strong and he's not able to fight them away no more.

—

School started off slow , Louis has found Niall and Zayn sat at a table in the cafeteria waiting for the bell to go so that they where able to get to there lessons. Zayn was a tanned lad , with black hair and brown eyes, He was openly bi sexual and had slept round with many guys and girls. Niall on the other hand was a quite lad , when he spoke he spoke like an irish man and when he laughed he laughed until he couldn't breath for air. Louis loved them both so much, they were both extremely understandable when Louis lost james , they helped him when he was struggling , they was there for Louis when he needed a shoulder to cry on. 

The school wasn't the best school in doncaster but it was better than no school. The walls were tall and multicoloured, they had boards on them filled with information about what's happening around the school and the history of the world , no one ever actually read them , they was just there for decoration. There was doorways nearly everywhere you turned each one leading into a different environment of education. Louis hadn't seen in many of the classrooms due to him always being down in the theatre and that one classroom that was attached to the theatre. The school was always filled with noise , students gossiping , arguing , laughing , it would always echo through the corridors , clear enough so others could hear.

"How are you mate" Zayn smiled at Louis , who was just stood there tugging on his sleeves ensuring that they was covering his full arms. Zayn noticed what Louis was doing but he didn't point it out he knew if Louis was struggling he would of spoke to him about it. 

"huh..i'm good you" Louis looked away from his feet and brought his head up so that he was able to see Zayn who was sat on the table in front of him. 

"yeh i'm good , me and niall are planning on stopping at mcdondalds later if you want to join us" Zayn questioned Louis who didn't even look like he was listening to a word Zayn even said. 

"yeh sure" This time Louis didn't even bring his eyes off his feet , he kept his head towards the ground and waited till the bell rang. 

—

"Today we are going to be learning Shakespeare" Mr Payne spoke , stood on the stage so that everyone would pay attention to him. 

Mr payne was Louis favourite teacher , he was always really understanding of Louis situation and helped him though a lot. Mr payne had brown long hair , he kinda looked a bit like Jesus , he also had a brown beard which he had started to grow out. He had recently just got engaged to his girlfriend maya henry , Louis had only met her once but she was a really lovely girl and he adored her. 

The class settled down leaving only Mr payne's voice to be heard from stage he talked for at least a good 40 minutes, acting out parts from Shakespeare's play along the way. The talk was finally over , Mr payne had set some work the class to take out. 

“you know what you boys are doing?” Mr payne came over to where Louis and Niall where sat , at the back of the theatre , it was a lot quieter back there and that’s how they enjoyed it. Mr Payne knew a lot about Louis struggling , having his mother spoke to him earlier on in the year too over the phone which lasted for a good 2 hours , Jay and Mr payne got on really well. 

“we’re good aren’t we Louis” Niall smiled at Mr payne who was just stood there at the corner of the table waiting for a response from Louis who had been awfully quite this morning. 

“yeh” Louis smiled at Mr payne , who finally walked away but kept glancing back keeping a close eye on Louis. He knew something was wrong with Louis he just couldn’t quite put it on the dot what was upsetting him though. 

“mate are you sure your alright?” Niall proddedLouis arm lightly with his finger , making Louis shoot his head up toward Niall who was sat on the opposite side of where he was.

“yeye just a shit day i guess” Louis smiled slightly at Niall then placed his head back down on the table. 

The lesson went on , Niall talking to Louis every now and then getting one word or a little more response from him but that was about it. After a while Niall just decided that it would be better to just leave Louis for a while , he didn’t want to annoy him. 

—

“cheese burger , friesand a medium coke please, Zayn you?” Niall turned toward Zayn who was stood behind him.

“Chicken wrap , fries and a large fanta” Zayn pauses for a moment and turns towards Louis who is back at it again looking at his feet. “Louis do you want anything it’s on me” Zayn tapped Louis on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Cheese burger please zayn if you don’t mind” 

“no drink or fries?” Zayn raised his eyebrow.

“no thanks” Louis looked back down at the floor again.

It wasn’t long till they have all finished there food and headed off home. Louis didn’t live far from McDonald’s it was a 10 minute walk at-least , Louis enjoyed walking on his own talking in the surroundings around him. Kicking the snow as he walked along the pavement , listening the birds sing there songs up on the snowy branches. He was only just round the corner when he had noticed the £20 note that was sticking up in the ground, he bent down , knees aching as he got lower and lowers , reaching for the £20 note. He put it in his pocket and continued his walk home.

—

“Good day?” Jay called from the front living room , stopping the tracks of Louis being able to go straight up to his room. Louis put up a facade he didn’t want his mum to know that he’d fallen back into his dark place just after getting better. 

“yeh thanks mum , you?” He smiled at his mother who he loved so much. He doesn’t know where he’d be without her. 

“i had a good day son , i’ll call you when teas ready , it’s pasta tonight , i love you” she smiled.

“ i love you too mum” 

Louis made his way up the set of stairs that where placed right in front of the front door , usually when his mum isn’t home he’s able to just run straight up the stairs and land right in his bed. Louis reached his room shutting the door behind him , peeling his backpack of his back , due to all the layers he had piled on this morning it made him sweat more than he intended for it to do.

He pulled his jumper off revealing the fresh set off cuts on his lower right arm. The shower stung , it hurt him so much , he couldn’t tell his mum about this , it would break her. He knew he shouldn’t have resolved to self harm yesterday , his thoughts was pushing him over the edge he hated him self. 

Louis finished up in the shower rubbing his body dry , dabbing where the cuts where , the shower already caused them to sting. He quickly ran across back over to his room putting a pair of joggers on a t-shit and his dressing gown. It was warm inside the house but he needed to cover his arms so that his mum wasn’t able to see. He didn’t like to hide these things from his mum , he knew that she is able to help him , he didn’t want the help no more he wanted to be strong enough so that he is able to get though this by him self. He didn’t want to be scared of his thoughts no more. Fearless.

“tea love” Jay called from the bottom of the stairs waiting until she was able to see Louis come out of his room.

He finally made his way down the stairs , the smell of pasta and garlic reaching his nose , he must admit it smelt lovely. Louis loved his mums cooking , she always tried her best to create the best meals for him and herself. No matter the time of day , she’d cook something for Louis and her to eat.

“ It’s nearly your birthday Lou , what do you want” Jay spoke five minuets later after sitting down with her food. She wasn’t wrong when she said it was nearly Louis birthday , it was coming to the end of November his birthday being on the 24th of December the day before Christmas.Louis never really acknowledged his birthday anymore he was getting to the age where birthdays wasn’t really celebrated, where he didn’t receive presents that he could unwrap and there would be car toys or an x box. There’d usually be a few cards from close family members and the odd note of money in a few of them.

“not really thought about it” Louis played with his pasta , smiling over to his mum who had a half empty bowl already. Louis always told her if she’s hungry to make her self tea and he will just make something when he’s hungry but she insists that she eats when he does.

“oh okay love but if you do let me know” Jay smiled , she knew that Louis didn’t like asking for things. They wasn’t poor but they wasn’t exactly filthy rich , they had enough to keep them going and buy them self treats every now and again. 

They finished tea up and Louis headed back up to his room. He knew that he’d have to get to sleep soon , he had school tomorrow lucky it wasn’t a early morning. He started at 11 meaning he was able to have a lie in. 

“goodnight lou” He mum spoke from the other side of Louis door , she knew not to open it as louis has asked her many times not too. 

“Goodnight mum” 

About 2 hours later after his mum had gone to sleep , he turned his bed side lamp off and closed his eyes, until he breathing came slow and steady.

— 

Friday had finally come around , The weather was still cold , the snow wasn’t there anymore it had all melted , leaving the pavements covered in slippy ice. Louis decided to take the day off as he didn’t feel like school today. He’d had a long week and just wanted rest. 

Louis spent most of the day in bed reading a book that he recently picked out at the school library. The notebook. 

Louis was a sap for romance story’s , he wishes he could have one like the ones in the books he reads , he just hadn’t found the right person. Louis had been in relationships in the past but they always complained that he was too much to they couldn’t cope when he shut them out for few days. He explained many times that he doesn’t mean to shut people out , he just doesn’t know how else to handle things. Ever since Louis last relationship he hadn’t been in one since. Him and eleanor broke up just over a year ago before James’ death. The breakup occurred due to eleanor moving away from doncaster , both of themagreeing that they didn’t want to be doing a long distance relationship. Louis generally thought the she was his love of his life when they first got together , however them feelings seemed to of faded away after a while. 

Louis started to feel that he was attracted to men. He hasn’t spoken to anyone about his sexuality due to him having bigger problems than his sexuality to figure out. Louis knew that it would probably help if he knew his sexuality but he pushed it to the side deciding that it wasn’t a big problem and it could wait. He knew that zayn was bi sexual and he was sure that when he was ready to talk about it he could talk to day.

Days like this when Louis was home alone and his mother was at work were the days were her get lost in his thoughts. He’d be left laying there in his bed , head full of bad thoughts that scared him. Reading helped him get away from his thoughts , Sometimes when his thoughts become too strong , so that reading wasn’t even able to get rid of them , he’d go on a walk down to the shop and pick him self up some snacks. 

Luckily his thoughts wasn’t that bad today , he was able to get though the day without feeling shit or wanting to hurt him self. His mum was going to be back at 5 , it was only 4 o’clock now , he didn’t have long to wait , he hated when his mum was at work he liked to have her at home where he was. He decided to continue reading until she returned.

Louis jumped when he heard the door close , his mum was finally home after waiting that seemed like forever. Louis was feeling better than he’d ever felt , so he decided to go down stairs and make his mum a brew whilst she relaxed on the sofa with the fire in-front of her. Louis’ mum worked at the hospital as a midwife , her longest shifts was on Monday and Wednesday but luckily for Louis he was at school on those days. She also had long shifts on Saturdays too but one of his sisters would usually stop round then or if they wasn’t able to make it he’d invite Niall or Zayn sometimes both over.

“ i’ll make tea tonight mum , what we having?” he smiled at his mother who was already snoozing off in the sofa. 

“i brought us some pizzas just put them in the oven Lou thank you” Jay smiled , she was tired from a long day at work.

“ okay you rest mum i’ll wake you up when it’s ready” Louis turned around and headed toward the kitchen where he found the shopping bags that his mum had brought home. 

— an hour later 

“teas ready mum” he shook his mum a little , stirring her from her sleep. 

“thank you lou” she pulled him closely towards a hug. 

The day came to and end they both made there way to bed , turning off the lights in the house.Night had fell in doncaster , It was silent


End file.
